Another from my series of unpublished archives. I wrote this right after I made the decision to permanently end my relationship with Mr. P.O.S. Right after I found out about his biggest lie, which was in front of my face almost the entire time. I want to make clear, I do not regret my decision to end this toxic relationship, not even a tiny bit. I’m in a good place today, and have been for quite some time. I’m in a healthy relationship with a man who loves me, and my kids, like his own. Unconditionally. Life is good.
I just miss you.
I allow myself to forget the bad
I only recall the best.
And I cry. Still.
Fear did not live here anymore;
Anxiety was let go, too.
She packed their bags
and sent them on their way.
A hand-drawn map of where to go.
So they wouldn’t be alone.
Continuing to make changes without apology.
Fighting for what’s good and right without question.
Pushed to the limit but never giving up.
Sharing the successes and defeats with those who build her up, and never again with those who tear her down.
Leaving behind those who complain without effort and expect something for nothing.
She was filled with dread about having to “go there” today.
If she could just skip the first two hours… It might be better.
Strange is such a strange word; as are those who commonly use it to describe others who are unlike them. I’ve heard and seen this word so many times over the last few days, and each time I cringe…
Strange, adjective: Unusual or surprising in a way that is unsettling or hard to understand.
She sucked at parenting, she was not in denial. As a matter of fact, if you asked her for a list of three things she could improve upon, she would give you ten, and parenting would be #1.
After weeks of trying to break old sleeping habits with her three-year-old, she found herself laying in her own bed, next to her child, again. This made 3.5 years straight.